You got a rough start mate and I'm really sorry you didn't get the loving childhood you deserved. You should never have suffered this, and you're starting on the back foot but held to the standards everyone else is. It's unfair, and it's ok to feel that.
I never got a childhood either, so I claim it now. Things like cuddly toys, fun snacks give it to me now. I also get parented in [email protected] and in other ways, that helps.
I'm from the 80s so I get that