Blackbeard

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now to say that you cut family off because of how they vote

But cutting family off because they share a different political viewpoint

Again, that's not what's happening here. Stop misrepresenting what people are saying to you.

People who snivel about sensitive feelings when they have absolutely no idea

This you?

The way people are writing off family instead of just talking to them is awful.

This is the most circular argument I've ever been a part of. Can't say I didn't try.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I have friends who were abandoned by their parents and subsequently adopted. I lost a half-sibling with mental illness after their religious paternal family subjected them to actual exorcisms and other emotional trauma which eventually led to their suicide. My wife has a new 60-year old biological sister that she discovered 2 years ago via DNA. I have friends who cut ties with physically and sexually abusive parents. Family is quite mutable, we are under no obligation to hold fast to toxic blood relatives, and in many cases what we consider "reprehensible" depends entirely on how "reprehensible" the blood relative's committed offenses are.

I'm going to assume you're just arguing from extremely limited personal experience and save the long list of expletives I want to hurl at you on behalf of my friends and family because I'd prefer not to be banned from this community. Good day to you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Trust me, most of us have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried. Some certainly may have preemptively cut people out without discussion, but most of us have beaten our heads against a wall for almost a decade now, trying to convince them that we're human beings with dignity who deserve respect. We just withdraw from engagement, piece by piece, until there's nothing lost by just giving up. Cutting them off is usually the last and most consequential move, rather than the first.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (10 children)

The way people are writing off family instead of just talking to them is awful.

What makes you think we haven't tried talking to them?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Just wanted to direct folks to [email protected], which is a brand new community for exactly these kinds of discussions. Cheers!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Just wanted to direct folks to [email protected], which is a brand new community for exactly these kinds of discussions. Cheers folks!

1
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

After a bit of discussion with @laverabe, we've agreed to update the sidebar with a more specific rule set. We have about 2 decades of moderation experience between us, and we're more or less on the same page about how to kick-start the community and get things rolling.

To put it simply, we are significantly less interested in enforcing our rules on opinions or content than we are on behavior and your treatment of others. Barring truly horrific opinions (which probably violate Lemmy's ToS in the first place), we're open to any and all perspectives, no matter how tasteless, crass, or toxic other people may believe them to be. There is no shortage of people on the left who think people on the right should be censored, just as there's no shortage of people on the right who think people on the left should be censored. We will not censor opinions because they're liberal, conservative, libertarian, egalitarian, utilitarian, humanitarian, Rastafarian, muggle, sith, Borg, etc. We will remove content that's abusive. So just don't be an asshole and everything will be peachy.

This forum is not meant to be focused on any particular topic or region, but we reserve the right to remove content on the rare occasion that it doesn't suit the purpose of the community. Given that nearly everything is political nowadays, that might be an entirely moot point, but just in case we ask that you not post lasagna recipes, driving directions, product reviews, or other unrelated stuff.

Content Rules:

  1. Self posts only.
  2. Opinion pieces and editorials are allowed on a case by case basis.
  3. No spam or self promotion.
  4. Do not post grievances about other communities or their moderators.

Commentary Rules

  1. ~~Obey the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.~~ Don't be a jerk or prevent honest discussion.
  2. Stay on topic.
  3. Don’t criticize the person, criticize the argument.
  4. Provide credible sources whenever possible.
  5. Report bad behavior, please don’t retaliate. Reciprocal bad behavior will reflect poorly on both parties.
  6. Seek rule enforcement clarification via private message, not in comment threads.
  7. Abide by Lemmy's terms of service (attacks on other users, privacy, discrimination, etc).

Please upvote/downvote based on quality of contribution to the discussion, not based on whether or not you agree with the post or comment.

Since our rules are new, we'll probably issue a lot of warnings in the early stages. We're not expecting to issue any bans unless something is truly out of bounds and unproductive. We're also just humans who have actual jobs, so we just don't have time to babysit folks who can't be cooperative.

Please provide your thoughts on anything you think should be more or less specific, as well as added or removed. We can't promise that we'll see eye to eye, but we'll make every effort to help you understand where we're coming from and how we see the community developing.

Edit: Updated rule 1 to be more specific, in case someone decided to be rude because they get their rocks off by fighting.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure you'll get that from any instance that allows politics, to be perfectly honest, as politics will tend to swamp all other discussion because it generates more traffic and discussion. I've spent time on microskiff.com (a boating forum), which is intensely right-wing, and it got so toxic they had to ban political discussion altogether. They have an open feud with The Hull Truth (another boating forum) which leans more left and attracts more voices who challenge conservatives. /r/Hunting was kinda conservative and generally policed itself, but that's because the mod team nuked anything that went off the rails.

Conservative-friendly spaces usually stay functional one of two ways: either they create a conservatives-only safe space or they refuse to let conservatives be overtly conservative. As someone who was a Reddit moderator for over a decade, you're kinda driving at the major gripe conservatives have with the open internet. They tend not to get a warm welcome not because they're conservative, but because when they flock together they tend to get disruptive and toxic very quickly. So then the warnings, removals, and bans come out, and the toxic crowd crows about being "censored", and the toxicity/pushback ramps up in an endless loop. It's the same song and dance everywhere they go, unfortunately. The conservative-sphere is just too infested with toxic conservatives for non-toxic conservatives find breathing room.

Additionally, Lemmy the platform has a steep learning curve which limits it to a more tech-savvy audience, and these kinds of forums naturally attract more left-leaning users, so I don't think Lemmy is the place you're going to find much conservative traffic in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

Agreed. It's like walking around a party with a post-it note stuck to your forehead that says "Don't ask me about watermelons."

All anyone is going to do all night is ask you about watermelons. Every single time.