BananaPeal

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you're ever a victim of these crimes, make sure to dial 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

James Bond is actually a time lord. It explains why he changes how he looks every few movies. This is backed up by the fact that Timothy Dalton played a time lord once in Doctor Who.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

A little too real for work, huh? 😂

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My first thought: "Princess Diana was a real person."

Derp

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Holy motherforking shirtballs... someone stole my post idea!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes Babe, I am real man

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

No worries. Misunderstandings happen. 😀

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Perhaps I should have said "plush dog."

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I blew way too much money on a stuffed dog at a hotel general store for my wife. We were driving a Uhaul during a snowstorm to move in together. The roads became very slippery so we decided to sleep through the storm. It was our first hotel stay together and money was very tight, but it was a romantic gesture. She cherished it until our son claimed it as his own personal "security blanket."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

The Mask is sssssmokin'!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

On the delete key!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I prefer to hang out with my wang out.

 

Because he was born into a stable home.

199
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
215
Dear A-holes (sh.itjust.works)
 
 
 
 
 
3
Guy Yoga (sh.itjust.works)
 
 
 
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