this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023

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What's the worst example of not "reading the room" you ever witnesses? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I guess it depends on what someone means by "reading the room". I've been given the impression people expect the room to read the same universally, as if there was anything inherently perceivable about the situation. It's not for a lack of trying, but I'm always graded low on that skill, often by the same people who think I phrase something as being hostile just because of my wording when I never imply that. If I feel a certain way, I say so, and I don't dishonor people because they're not in the mood to feel the mood I feel.

That said, me walking around a flock of five dozen geese at a park and getting attacked by all of them because I didn't understand they hated my presence takes the cake.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

often by the same people who think I phrase something as being hostile just because of my wording when I never imply that.

I get what you're saying here. I've been told in the past that I'm always angry and I know I sometimes speak with a condescending tone when I don't mean to. I get frustrated with people not taking a second to think about what they say a lot. Especially when they ask questions, a lot of times if they think for a second they should be able to reason the answer themselves. But I know I have a problem with tone and communication and it's something I've been working on myself for years through therapy and conditioning and I've gotten a lot better.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If I feel a certain way, I say so

Well there's your problem right there

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

For months at one place I worked senior developers and even junior managers had been haranguing the higher-ups with an alarm bell on how important the Internet was going to be and how we needed to start pivoting toward outfitting our product with the ability to interact properly on the Internet. We were steadfastly ignored and our concerns were quietly scoffed at because our product was a "best of breed" product in our space.

Then we got hit by a huge wave of lost sales because we had no viable scheme in place to proper interact with Internet-based applications.

The then-CEO called a "developers all-hands" meeting in which he pranced around on the stage at the front of the auditorium to complain to us that nobody had been telling him how important this Internet thing was going to be and that we were supposed to be keeping an eye on the leading edge of technology so he can make plans for these things.

This sparked a VERY LOUD outcry as about 150 software developers who'd been ignored and scoffed at for months just flipped a switch into revolution mode. Lots of people started talking loudly (then shouting). One guy with a laptop connected it to the big projector display and started scrolling through an email folder where he'd collected the notices warning about the importance of the Internet and management's (including the CEO's) condescending replies. By the end of that little skirmish the CEO was making a lame excuse that he was "joking" and was "taking our feedback very seriously" after 20 people (half of them very senior) just flatly quit in front of him and walked out of the auditorium.

That's probably the worst "read the fucking room, dude!" moment I ever saw.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Probably this guy on the TV programme Take Me Out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzyvLf0V3qs

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