this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2024
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Bulletproof? Is it waterproof? Ts&Cs say: 'Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage'

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[–] [email protected] 258 points 8 months ago (16 children)

"To prevent damage to the exterior, immediately remove corrosive substances (such as grease, oil, bird droppings, tree resin, dead insects, tar spots, road salt, industrial fallout, etc.),"

Not washing it could fuck it up. Got it.

"CAUTION Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage (for example, to the charge port or windshield wipers). Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty."

Also washing it could fuck it up.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 8 months ago (7 children)

What does car wash mode do?

[–] [email protected] 61 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't know about the Cybertruck or its charging port, but cars do have rain sensors to activate the wipers automatically when it rains. Car wash mode likely turns those sensors off to prevent damage to the wipers.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

It must be something more substantial in this case, tearing the windshield wiper off wouldn't brick the truck

[–] [email protected] 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Or maybe it does, who knows. It's the Cybertruck afterall

[–] [email protected] 53 points 8 months ago (3 children)

CRITICAL FAILURE. WINDSHIELD WIPER DETACHMENT DETECTED. PLEASE CONTACT ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE IMMEDIATELY. DRIVING HAS BEEN DISABLED FOR SAFETY REASONS.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago

FOR ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It folds the mirrors in and puts the car in neutral. Stuff like that.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 8 months ago (4 children)

So things normal people do to normal cars but with extra steps and Elon.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Have you seen other people in a car wash? Park, reverse, drive but they start holding the brakes when the track pulls them along, leaving antennas up, not closing windows, opening fucking doors... A vast majority of the human population is some level of braindead.

Fuck me, I've seen someone pull up into a manual car wash bay, open all their doors, and wash the INSIDE of their car. This was not a washable interior like a Jeep Wrangler or something, it was a typical sedan with carpeted floors and cloth seats.

And these people (theoretically) are licensed to drive, right next to you.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 8 months ago (11 children)

Yeah, but the car still ran afterwards.

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Oh shit, the sun came out and I forgot to put my Cybertruck into "Sunlight Mode".
It's bricked now, but it's really my fault.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Telsa’s designers have weird history with water. I get the sense that they just don’t do a lot of proper testing in wet environments.

For example, it’s not uncommon for a lot of Teslas to actually grow mold in their air filtration system because they don’t properly drain water.

For example: https://youtu.be/vQxP6PaSmLc

[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Maybe that happens if you design a car like an iPod with a bunch of engineers living in California and Texas.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

TX and CA do get plenty of rain. In fact, TX gets hit with hurricanes all the time.

It's worse: they are not doing sufficient testing. This is why the larger manufacturers are passing Tesla by - they already have the standards and procedures in place.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Texas has plenty of rain and car washes. This is just bad overall design.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago

"There's no water on Mars so we don't have to worry about it" - Elon, probably

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 8 months ago

"You wouldn't wash a car!"

[–] [email protected] 85 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Carwash mode? U wot M8?

🤣😂.... God bless these clowns for making me laugh.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 8 months ago (3 children)

"world's most expensive brick"

Even this insult gives the Cybertruck too much credit. That piece of shit isn't worth anywhere near as much as the actual world's most expensive brick: a standard 400-troy-ounce gold brick, for instance, is worth about $930K today.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Not even a water issue.

The advisor said that "it is a known issue in the Cybertruck that when you do a screen reset, instead of resetting in the standard two minutes, it takes five hours."

This is crappy and lax software testing and verification testing.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago (6 children)

What even is a screen reset supposed to be here and why would you have to do it? Asking as a pleb conventional car driver whose screen just turns on and off with the car automatically.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

That'll be ~~80k~~, 100k.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Can we just say that Cybertruck is basically a sum of everything wrong with right wing wackos?

"Look at me, I'm a badass, driving around in a badass vehicle, unlike you filthy libruls. ... Aww shucks! There's road salt! And my accelerator pedal just fell off wtf. ...OH NO! A LITTLE WATER TOO! Anything but that!"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Oh no, WATER, how did they know it was one of my many, many weaknesses!

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 8 months ago (9 children)

How are there so many things wrong with this vehicle? Like a total recall for the accelerator pedal sounds like the least of their concerns when the car can be bricked by a reboot and the exterior isn’t allowed to have bird shit on it unless it’s removed immediately.

I mean, I know why. But how? Aren’t vehicles massively regulated? How did any of these make it off the production line?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Depends on the local laws. It's not road legal in the EU, for example

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago (8 children)

Just to play devil's advocate: throughout the history of capitalism someone surely must have made a more expensive brick (adjusted for inflation).

That's the best defense I can give.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (5 children)

The Vasa comes to mind. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasa_(ship)

USSRs space shuttle, although technically that didnt fail on its own.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buran_(spacecraft)

The failed Chinese attempts to use stolen SpaceX plans that resulted in at least one town that we know of being destroyed with toxic smoke and fire.

Virgin's space program.

Boeing's space program. Increasingly, the 737-MAX too.

Amazon's space program.

Musk and the stupid decisions made around Starship, that resulted in over a year of setbacks since the launchpad had a woefully inadequate flame trench that everyone called out long before the first two failed launches.

The Titanic.

Related to the last one: OceanGate and the Titan.

When the Athenians starts the Peloponnesian War by invading a different city state than Sparta(to ostensibly use that city's military against Sparta), but screwed it up, creating the conditions for them to lose said war.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (9 children)

The Buran was actually quite technologically advanced. It was able to fly to orbit and land itself completely autonomously.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (3 children)

To all the chuds that bought this...

Insert Nelson HAAAA HAAAA

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I have zero sympathy for any of the 3878 chumps who wasted their money on this vehicle. They knew exactly what they were getting

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Quite a few really didn't.

It's incredible how delusional some of these people are, like Twitch Moderator being 100% convinced Amouranth is going to bang them if they spend enough in her Onlyfans tier delusional.

They are entirely convinced he shits gold and everything he touches is Star Trek tier tech.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (5 children)

This is nothing new from Tesla. My parents have a Model 3 and they can't use a car wash at all with it. Hand wash only.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

And 9 cameras you have to consent to using. Total and utter crap.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I make sure to spread my butthole to each and every one of them while it starts up. It’s my morning ritual

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Gold bricks are worth like $750k so its definitely not the most expensive brick.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Yeah, but someone is gonna buy that gold off you as it holds value , not sure who they'll be able to trick into taking it off their hands as it'll be worth a sack of potatoes.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago

It was an expensive brick before the car wash, too.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

Did they hire former boeing engineers?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

Wait, so Car Wash mode has to be on while driving in the rain also?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So Cybertruck goes 100% Elon now? ... turns into world's most expensive brick ...

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (3 children)

How hard does it have to be raining to require car wash mode?

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