this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2024
674 points (98.8% liked)

xkcd

8773 readers
119 users here now

A community for a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

https://xkcd.com/2899

Alt text:

[later] I'm pleased to report we're now identifying and replacing hundreds of outdated metrics per hour.

top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 110 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

I’d not heard of this before, but this explains a lot of why my call center jobs were such BS.

We were expected to resolve networking, MS Exchange and VoIP issues in 20 minutes or less on average, which just resulted in a lot more customers having to call back because all the agents had to try and rush to a solution without time to test.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's wildly under-taught. It explains like half of all problems in the world. Education: "teaching to the test." Economics: optimizing GDP at the expense of non-material well-being. Maximizing shareholder value by selling out employees and enshittifying your product. Software: "data-driven decision making" optimizing short -term gains over long-term because they are more measurable. That's just off the top of my head.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

But how else can the corporate bureaucracy hold its grip on people otherwise? The metrics are as necessary as catehism for catholicism.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The corporate bureaucracy is as much a product of the overall system, and just as much a slave to its incentives, as you or I. Though granted, the level of self-awareness of their role in the system is on average pretty low. With few exceptions, there is nobody at the wheel of problems like these. Worrying about whose fault it is is usually a waste of time.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yep. That, and cops arrest and ticket quotas…

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

We don't test for false convictions, which are as good as true ones for furthering careers in prosecution and law enforcement.

We don't know if our prison population is 10% innocent or 75% despite Blackstone's ratio.

In fact, when someone isn't successfully convicted, it's assumed the suspect got off on a technicality rather than continuing the investigation to find other suspects.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's even better when these metrics explicitly become your yearly goals. Or department-wide metrics you have very little influence over. I sure hope all these people I don't manage happen to achieve a specific error rate this year so I get a good bonus.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago

God this is too real. One place I worked loved to pick odd company wide metrics too. Instead of just like "profit", 50% of our bonus would be determined by how low a % held stock was against revenue, globally... I worked in marketing. Needless to say the "bonus" did not motivate anyone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What's even better is when your metrics are based on last year's metrics so you better achieve exponential growth or start looking for another job.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

The year before last we achieved 1% test error rate in an area, and the bosses were seriously considering having the following year's goal be 0%. Someone had to point out that if anyone had 1 error on Jan 1, we literally couldn't do anything to achieve the goal the rest of the year and may as well give up entirely.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (3 children)

This post has quite some upvotes which is a good metric righ?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I dunno but it's got 17 comments right now which is also a good metric.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

It's a good metric if you aren't chasing it.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is not crappy reddit. Who cares for upvotes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I prefer to keep scores off so I like comments, even the ones that disagree with me

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Have a comment than!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

How to turn telemetry into OKRs.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Cute, but it really should be the black hat with the punch line.