this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2023
201 points (98.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago

Studying for 65 years under a shaolin monk who has a secret technique for performing fine motor skills while under general anesthetic is the missing step 2.5.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Everyone's just looking past step 2? Call emergency services and then create a sterile field ... by putting on a mask and gloves. I want a mask and glove that creates a sterile field just by putting them on.

The whole set of steps is rife with ridiculous.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Mask and Gloves of Sterility
wondrous item, rare

While wearing this set of items, you create a 10-foot radius of sterility. The area suppresses disease and halves necrotic damage dealt within its radius.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Like any step after you have fallen asleep.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

You're supposed to walk around with your appendix sticking out? I guess that prevents complications if it ruptures

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Hey I read about some new device that lets you put work hours in from your sleep! So doing this doesn’t seem far off.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Off to go conduct my own appendectomy, wish me luck

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I've got a distinct memory of learning how to do an appendectomy on myself as a kid and it involves cocaine and the hardest liquor in the immediate area

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of that one episode on House M.D. where he performed an operation on himself in the bathroom.