this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2024
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Maybe the i-bike is more appleish? Imagine this, it's a bike like other bikes, but you only need to pedal with one leg, and if you turn the pedal, the whole bike turns. Tilt it back to stop. Sure, you may look fucking stupid running around with only one pedal while your other leg does nothing at all. That's it. Oh, and it's white and smooth in gorme plastic-like design. You can charge your bike but you must remove the seat and turn it upside down using our special turning device since it's 700lbs.
Also you can only use it on roads built by Apple!
It's a special magnetic stripe road that illuminates the Logo properly....can you use it on regular asphalt? Nope! Why? Oh apple has looked into it and it is very challenging but they will work with authorities to see if it can be accomplished.
Designed by Apple in Cupertino, made in China
Hey! It has a breathalyzer integrated into the...what, why do you need a butt breathalyzer? Oh...
DAE I'm too poor to afford Apple products?
Swing and a miss