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Currently xmpp voice and video calls are not going through the server at all, so it will work just fine on a RPi3.
News to me! Good to know, though.
I think realtime media routed through the node back when I was running one, but that was quite a while ago now. It wasn't bad for my crew, but load scales exponentially in those sort of applications as you take on endpoints.
Ah, right. I wasn't sure about that part.
So, the XMPP server just helps to initiate the connextion between clients then they communicate directly?
Will that work if someone's at home (inside the network) and talking to someone outside (via the pfSense proxy)?
For a/v calls yes. You might need to configure a STUN server to help clients find each other if they are behind a NAT.