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The problem is, the word "involuntary" in incel puts the blame on those who won't fuck them. It's not their fault they haven't had sex yet, it's those who keep denying them. This gives them a reason not to have to change their behaviors or thoughts, which keeps them undesirable. That's why they're frowned upon.
The term "involuntary" means that they're not chosing to be single or sexless, but that forces outside of their control is causing it. But something has to cause it, and it's the attitude that women have that they usually blame. The problem is that their own issues are what cause the celibacy, of which they refuse to change. It's a lot easier for most people to but the blame outside of their control.
This has come up a few times but I'm going to pick this one to reply to. Looks aren't zero important, but your actual body is far less important than grooming, dress, posture, and other related things that are far easier to change.
Related, have you seen how men act? Like ask a woman-who-dates-men friend what it's like on tinder. The bar is on the floor my dudes. With some bare minimum treating the other person like a person, being sincere and present, you're so far above the average.