this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Programmer Humor
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So then I guess C is salamander. Also lays eggs and lives by a pool, but doesn't do anything extra, and is a necessary step before most of the other modern languages.
COBOL is a coelacanth. To everyone's surprise, they're still out there. We thought they were an old, very extinct example of a non-terrestrial lobe-finned fish, but they actually hung on in some odd environments. They cause massive indigestion to anyone that has to consume them.
If Node is a mosquito, Javascript itself is another hymenopteran: the yellow jacket wasp. Just as hated, and with a tendency to injure handlers, but widely successful and defended as filling an actual useful role in nature. They build delicate, arguably pretty nests.
I especially enjoyed your COBOL metaphor. Nicely done!
Nobody who has seen a yellow jacket nest in person would argue they're pretty.
I literally have one in a jar on a shelf, actually. I find it kind of delicate and wispy. The inside parts are uglier, but still very interesting.
Interesting