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There is a TV special from 1965 that describes your plight:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Charlie_Brown_Christmas
I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus.
Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.
I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.
I just don't understand Christmas I guess.
I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards...
...and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy.
I always end up feeling depressed.
I mean, the point of the special is to find meaning in the holidays regardless of the rampant consumerism, but the impact of the message is dampened a bit by Hallmark putting out new charlie brown Christmas tree ornaments every year.
That said, it's also okay not to have holiday spirit if you don't find anything about this time of year meaningful. For many who aren't practicing Christians, it's a time to be with family because most companies tend to give days off anyway, but for those of us who have cut ties and don't see the significance of decorating and whatnot, it's perfectly fine to enjoy the time off without feeling festive.