this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I feel you bro. I lived in Manhattan for 3 years and got maybe 3 dates, a lot were just conversations on the app that went nowhere. I was like how the hell can I not find someone in a city of 8 million people (NYC in general)?! My buddy met his wife on Hinge during COVID. All it showed me was transgender people and "bottom of the barrel" people where I was like "you can't seriously think that this is a good picture of you". We lived about 4 miles apart.
I think the biggest kick in the balls was when my ex and I broke up. I went on bumble and literally 3 profiles in it recommended her to me!
I've had friends, professionals, and strangers on Reddit review my profiles, my therapist (who was around my age) looked over my profiles too. Everyone said there wasn't really anything bad that stood out to them. If they did have any suggestions they usually conflicted what someone else had told me.
It's been 8 long, lonely, depressing years. I've gone to social events via meetup and most of them were either dudes outnumbering women like 4:1 of it was a big mixer, or if it was something small it would be like 5 or 6 people just standing around at a bar or something being awkward. I started going to board and cars game nights three times a week, one of them had a fair amount of attractive women, but they always had their guard up because all the lonely dudes there would have the same idea. I became friendly with two of the cute regulars early on, I played it cool for a while. When we were waiting to order drinks at the bar one of them said "ugh, all these guys won't stop hitting on me, I just want to play games." and I was thinking "well... Shit..."
I finally got so fed up with everyone being so closed off up there (and other reasons) that I just moved 1300 miles away to Miami where everyone is a lot friendlier. I've only been here for 1.5 weeks and it definitely isn't as easy to find social events to meet women and make friends like there was in NYC. They largely all sucked, but at least the opportunity was there. People are at least more willing to talk to strangers here though!