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I don't think I would want to be with someone that went to the voting booth every few years and pulled the leavers to take my health rights away, because ultimately that's what is happening. It would be a betrayal, it's not benign and all the affable personality traits mentioned wouldn't make me forget it.
For these rebuplican men, it's saying "I respect you but regulation has gotten out of control, and your bodily autonomy is a price I'm willing to pay to fix it".
The man shows no signs of sexism, of xenophobia or racism , or bigotry, but pulls the leavers for those things anyway.
You find his ideas crazy, note he has become propagandized, and is difficult to talk to about politics. I dare say if you pushed those conversations you'd be shocked at what you find.
Ultimately voting is an act, not speech or opinion, it's an act to manifest your will and your priorities onto others through force of law.
So while one can take the approach of getting along to get along when it comes to regulation and corporate taxation, it becomes less easy when you recognize that, as a functional adult making an informed choice, your husband acted to end women's bodily autonomy, erode women's health care, end same sex marriage, deny and delay climate change action, and a whole host of other abhorrent policy goals.
I want to say, I take no pleasure at all in saying this to you. None. Your response to the post is just so personal it feels impossible to respond to in an impersonal manner. I just felt the need to challenge the idea that affable personality traits can make up for abhorrent policy goals.
Where I do think you have a point is that I find any conservative hypocritical because they think one rule for them & different rules for others. He knows this. But am I perfect? No way. And on voting, when I vote I also have to make compromises because no party here is willing to protect the environment or give us healthcare or push back against our oligopoly. I think yeah he convinces himself on the social stuff because he believes the R will bring a better economy by some magic, and that's about it. I cancel him out and 11 votes back me up, all our kids who are old enough to vote, all their companions.
But no, I'd not give up a loving and mostly compatible relationship because of politics, and apparently he wouldn't either. I think without these connections, we'd be so much worse off. He would be worse in an echo chamber, and isn't an idiot in other ways at all.
Obviously your calculation will be different. But I can love someone who is not me.
Alright, sure. But that's still just him being not just willing, but actively trying, to strip your human rights away for this magic economy and you rationalizing his actions as an acceptable compromise.
I would see that as a clear example of disrespect and disregard for my well being and the well being of people who I care about.
This isn't about finding someone just like you to love, far from it, compromise is normal and differences between people in love are wonderful. What this is about, for me anyway, is that I would draw the line at someone who is actively supporting the deterioration of my human rights regardless of how many dishes they do.
True. I mean, it's sad for her to be with someone who's got such a low bar. Does the dishes? Honey, you can use a machine for that. I'm doing them right now!
That's the opposite of why people stay together. Usually people say, "Well they have trouble doing the dishes, but at least our major beliefs are similar."
Honestly she seems pretty similar to her husband in how illogical she's being. He's like, "Well Republicans might be terrible socially but they might lower my taxes!" She says, "Well he votes for people I despise but at least those dishes got done!"
They are similar people in that they both make bad life choices. So maybe it works?
Love is not logical. If she's happy, I don't see the issue. It's up to her to decide whether she believes he's a good person, and apparently she does. Who are we to tell her she's wrong about someone we don't even know?