Selfhosted
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Hey I don't really have a solution for you, but if you are still stuck on this, give tailscale a try.
I used to have a manually-configured WireGuard server too, and had a lot of the same issues you are.
Now I just use tailscale to manage that (it's still a WireGuard backend just like you are looking for) and I actually have my Pihole configured as the DNS host for my local network and my Tailnet so it's used by all of my devices even remotely.
So the same outcome you are looking for but with a slightly different path to get there
I'll check it out. Thanks!