this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Ah, the luxury of not being a parent.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Implying that parents don't have any free time? I mean, my time isn't "my own", but my wife and I sure as hell have free time.

Personally, I would go insane without free time -- likely literally. I would be an anxiety-ridden mess with a hair trigger. If my chores won't allow any free time, the chores don't get finished. They'll still be there tomorrow.

Edit: We have two kids, 6 and 8 years old.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're forgetting about when they were 0 and 2

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No, I'm really not.

My first had major medical issues (for her first 3-4 years) that necessitated close supervision after a 3-month stay in the NICU. She had PT, OT, speech therapy, and feeding therapy every week, appointments with cardiology and pulmonology, gastroenterology, regular post-operation and post-NICU visits, and the normal doctor appointments.

She took a lot of work, and severely limited our options for going out, due to a feeding schedule (while trying to limit projectile vomiting -- and I do mean vomiting, hard and loudly, not just "spitting up" -- to 2 times a day, when possible) that allowed practically nothing. Still, we managed to have downtime, where we could just relax and unwind. It's how we stayed sane.

Given the circumstances, a second child really changed very little, in terms of work required. We still found time for ourselves.

Admittedly, it would have been impossible (or extremely cost-ineffective) for me to have a job at that point, but my daughter was a full-time job and then some. I realize that this probably negates everything I've said to most in this thread, but still.

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