I don't know honestly at this point I've stopped asking questions
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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Friend is trying to start a conversation and catch up, "Me" is being weirdly antisocial about the whole thing.
Like, if you dislike this person that much, tell them you don't want to be their friend any more, instead of suffering inside at how much you hate interacting with them, and leading them on.
That's a weird take on this. Not liking or being good at small talk does not equate with disliking the person. It certainly doesn't mean you "hate interacting with them".
Talking to a friend you haven't seen in a while about what's new in your life is basically the opposite of "small talk'. I can empathize with those kind of social interactions being hard for some people, but it's a social skill that's worth either practicing or finding alternative paths to accomplish if you want to make and keep friends.
Sure, but I wouldn't really find the process of starting the conversation to find that out "small talk". Even if there's not a lot new most of the time, to me small talk has to be the kind of banal and meaningless conversations that basically never lead into those 'real' ones. How's the weather, what about that local sports team, did you see someone bought that house/building/store down the road, etc.
I think the complicated thing is there are people you don't really know, acquaintances, where the generic "how's the wife and kids" is small talk, because they don't actually really care, it's just a generic greeting thing. But a friend asking that is different, imo.
I'm very socially awkward, I don't understand the issue here. No one's going to be mad at you for saying "Meh, not really, what about you?"
The expectation that the answer will change over time wears one down when it doesn't.