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Honestly, it sounds like you've been spending too much time in some online communities that are doom posting about everything. Do things suck right now? Yes, but they've literally sucked for as long as human society has existed. Things can always be better, or always be worse. However you can't just sit around passively waiting for the times to change, or your life will suck.
The single biggest factor in whether your life is good or not is you and your actions. Don't let things outside of your control convince you to give up. Do the best with what you have, and I promise you that you can find fulfillment and happiness in the life available to you.
You're right, I've definitely been doomscrolling way too much.
I think the biggest thing holding me back is the idea that it is too late to do anything because my life could effectively be over in less than a few months. I see lots of people dooming about fascist purges and the end of societal function and think, "Well, how do I know for sure that they're wrong? I don't know enough about society to make a solid prediction either way."
And so my brain thinks "There is a reasonable chance that my life is over (or at least the ladder to make any life progress gets pulled up) in a few months. If everything I do is all for naught, then why bother?" It's a belief that I have no long-term agency.
I think that in order to move forward, I have to disprove the idea of me being targeted in a fascist purge and complete economic collapse happening anytime soon with reasonable certainty. Are those sound predictions, or are they just nightmares dreamt up by a bunch of armchair historian doomers exaggerating how quickly these things happen? Is the theory that the "day one mass deportations" include all known political dissidents actually possible, or are the logistics too insane to work? That's what I have to figure out, or else I will likely continue to believe that I am helpless.
In other words, I think it's quite plausible that I'm reading misinformation, but the fact that I don't know it for sure is preventing me from dismissing it outright.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply!
I recommend the It Could Happen Here podcasts from after election day. I'm not caught up, but the three I listened to acknowledge the terror of the situation we're in while also trying to put things like mass deportation in context. It's going to be so unbelievably expensive. So no I don't think dissidents like you or myself are on the list, yet.