this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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suicide? appreciating the good moments of the day without thinking about the wider hell you're in, somehow?

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 week ago (12 children)

I buy a fucking guillotine.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Buy stock in guillotine companies.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You short-sighted investors are piling in on guillotines, meanwhile I've been snatching up shares in pitchfork and torch companies with strong fundamentals for pennies on the dollar.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’d think that you’d make more on the guillotines. The margins should be higher. No profits on torches.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The profit on torches is the rebuy for more. You don't need to sink a lot in material, it just has to burn bright enough to sell.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exactly, the guillotine is a durable/capital good. Yeah, you make more on one, but how many are you going to sell relative to torches and pitchforks?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

My guillotines have DRM, non user serviceable parts and a mandatory service contract - cough - I mean you get free IoT and smartphone integration.

If you sharpen it youself, warranty is void.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don’t know. I mean you can reuse a torch or you can make your own.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

In this throwaway, instant satisfaction society? It's all about the price point. And the marketing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That seems counterproductive.

Guillotine demand goes up, guillotine production company stocks go up, guillotine production owners become rich, guillotine production millionaires felled by their own designs.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Hmmn, maybe petardes would be a better choice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I'll start a mobile sharpening business. Sell shovels to prospectors and all that.

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