this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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Yeah... no.
Online dating from a straight male perspective fucking sucks. I have tried using various apps for the past decade to find someone to little luck.
Ten years ago, back when you didn't need to mutually match on every app to send a message, the cycle went: message lady, 99.99% get ignored, 0.009% get ghosted after first 3 messages, 0.0001% have an actual conversation.
Maybe that convo will lead to a date. Over half of my dates in my early twenties led to her making excuses to bail early and blocking me afterwards, and I don't even understand why.
On an incredibly rare occasion have I found a relationship from online dating, but that's fallen apart.
Nowadays, nearly all of the sites that I used to use had been bought out by Match, including OkCupid, POF, Tinder, Hinge, and a few other major ones. These apps have been enshittified to be little more than Tinder clones in both functionality and price. Other apps are owned by Bumble and are just as bad. On all of these apps, I seldom get any matches and those I do are either phishing scammers or throwaway accounts plugging an OnlyFans page. All except Okcupid which is a strange anomaly.
On Okcupid I have about 70 matches. I was given a month of Okcupid by Customer Support after having problems with a Turkish lady harassing me. Long story short, we switched to Telegram, I took twelve hours to reply to one of her messages and she went nuclear on me to the point of making multiple OKC accounts to send me abusive messages. I found out all these matches I had were African, Indonesian or Filipina ladies using the app to spoof their location and find a Western husband - and the means to a spousal visa to get into my country.
Falsifying your location to match with people halfway across the world is blatantly against Okcupid's Terms of Service, by the way. But they don't give a shit. Profiles which I reported weeks ago still haven't been banned.
When most of the online dating apps are owned by Bernard Kim and he's on a John Riccitello level of corporate greed, demanding £30 to £40 per month subscriptions just to see who has liked you, it's why I think X may actually be less egregious.