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Blue whale.
You never said I had to win.
They also never said in which environment:
Stranded blue whale.
In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. "Yeah bitch, you better run!"
With all the blubber, would a whale even notice a punch, especially if the force was lessened due to water drag?
Notice it? Likely. Interpret it as a threat? Unlikely. Swat you like an annoying insect? Probably.
if it was a Right Whale then by all accounts, it'd take it as a come on.
they're lovers not fighters.