this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 125 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I should get to work on my opus, "Dirty Code"

Inside I'll reveal all my secrets like: not writing tests, not documenting anything, putting the whole app into a single python file, object-disoriented relational mapping, obscure SQL tricks, unobscure no-sql tricks, and more!

[–] [email protected] 57 points 3 months ago (1 children)

object-disoriented

I'll steal this to shit talk about code; until git blame points to my past self

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Github, but it's afraid of commitment, it just wants to spoon.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

Just make sure the first chapter is dedicated to spaghetti, and contains various GOTO statements telling where the reader where to go shove it and other obscenities.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

I hope your book won't have a table of context and those stupid indexes. If they read it, they should know where you mention topics, right? Tables of contents considered harmful! /s

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

I like "how to build APIs you won't hate".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I hope the tricks are only supported on kafka's ksql.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I read a book like this once! It was like, "how to code badly."

It was actually kinda fun.