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I'm not a linguist, but here's how I understand it:
This is why would is so fucked: it's used both in the conditional, and the subjunctive mood. However, nothing I see in the online resources really talks about would being used in the subjunctive.
When someone uses the phrase "would you like a coffee?" I'm nearly certain that it's the subjunctive, polite way of saying "do you want coffee." It's very similar to the Spanish quieres/quisieras pair. In Spanish you get an irregular conjugation, but in English, the whole verb changes from to be to will.
As a non-linguist, native speaker, these mood changes come naturally to me. I never had to study them. As a second language learner, this is always one of the most brain-melting facets of a new language.
Edit: "do you" obviously isn't exactly using the verb to be. I'm not sure what to call that expression. It seems like it could be its own post. This is giving me a headache. This post gets into it, but doesn't really give the specific answers that I suspect you're looking for.
Lol you're right about this giving native English speakers a headache. I'm not sure the subjunctive is the correct explanation here, though.
The subjunctive mood in English primarily uses the past tense form of verbs ("were," "were to," etc.) to convey wishes or counterfactuality. E.g. 'I wish you wouldn't drink so much coffee', or 'If I were you, I wouldn't..."
However, 'would you like a coffee?' is a direct question of preference, which means it technically is using the indicative mood rather than the subjunctive. Here, 'would' functions as a model verb to soften the request and make it more polite.