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I didnt want to create a wall of text in the post and I'm not looking to massively overshare but the truth for me is somewhere in the middle.
Ive been counting calories, tracking macros, wearing a fitbit and hitting 4 to 6 crossfit workouts a week for 2 years and while I'm happy with the progress Ive made, Ive also watched people who started well after me experience more dramatic transformations in their physiology in shorter time and after bitching about it at the gym, one of the guys said "Bro, your almost 40. You have a small child, you get up at 4am for work and you're always stressed about something. I bet your T levels are destroyed" So I got them checked and they are. So I googled "Symptoms of Low Test" and fuck me if "harder to lose weight and put on muscle" werent right next to "Irritable moody asshole who sleeps like shit and always seems unhappy" (Yep... not like I'm proud of it) which was a very welcome surprise because yeah... if the shoe fits but I cant find the other one I will be a grumpy ass about it and it will ruin my day.
The big catch is that TRT in my country is something some doctors just dont take seriously (Which is why I got my bloods done privately) They think everyone asking for it just wants to look like Jack Reacher so they tell you "Reduce stress, sleep better and get some exercise" then charge you $80. The ones that do take it seriously will refer you to an endocrinologist who will take 6 months to see you, is just as likely to do the same as the first doctor, or will have some set of wacky criteria that they use to determine if they will give it to you. I got told a story from a nurse friend of a guy who literally lost his balls to cancer and still had to go have his bloods taken 2 months apart to prove that he had low test because that was the practices policy on prescribing TRT. That and I havent had a regular GP since I moved so any doctor I see is going to be our first meeting and I'm going to be like "Hey, I want testosterone please" which even with bloods is likely to go poorly.
We also have private TRT clinics, which is who I showed my results to because fuck jumping through the other hoops just to ask some questions and I'm absolutely eligible BUT (and this is me being a self aware grownup) the TRT clinic would never tell me about the possible pitfalls and side effects and negative experiences because they want my money and (If I'm honest) I DO want to look like Jack Reacher and private medical practices arent always known for setting healthy limits on their customers and being even more honest, I'm not super great at doing it to myself. I want the mental improvement as well as the physical, but I know how good I am at lying to myself about shit too.
So I'm trying to do research online but its a bit of a mixed bag, lots of heavy bias. I DO plan on talking to a GP before I make a concrete decision but I want to have smart questions to ask before I do.
So I gotta ask: what's your plan for addressing your stress levels and your lack of sleep? A prescription from your doctor doesn't squarely address those issues, and they should probably be addressed.
Truth be told some of the supposed benefits of TRT are improved sleep, improved moods, feeling more "whole" and being less Irritable. Is it low because I sleep like shit and Im stressed or do I sleep like shit and I'm always stressed because its low.
Edot: That answer seemed a bit flippant, Theres a bit of light at the end of those tunnels, in that my daughter gets more reasonable every day and we just sold our old place and moved into a tiny shitshow of a place to save money while the new one is built so hopefully in 12 months she might ne going to bed on time in her nice new bedroom. Works always going to be work though.
Maybe also schedule with a therapist/counselor for a couple weeks prior, establish a baseline, and have them help you to monitor your mental state while you take the meds.
It seems like you're very self aware, which is a blessing/curse I believe I share. It's important to me to keep some outside perspective that will "speak truth to power". My therapist won't lie to me, he won't put up with me lying to myself, and he knows me well enough to spot the bullshit.
If you like, think about it like any other medicine with psychoactive properties. My doctors monitor me for the side effects of antidepressants, mostly for manic episodes. I think it's a smart aspect of the whole plan.