this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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what's it called when you try to be aware of this and inadvertently say stuff that comes off as condescending, umm, asking for a friend
ooooof
I know for men who are equal opportunity overexplainers it can still be seen as “mansplaining” when overexplaining to women.
But in general, if your tone of voice is right and it’s still happening, perhaps communicating your intention and a safeguard would work, at least sometimes?
I'm always worried about inadvertently doing this, so I've been trying to make a conscious effort to ask people if they need more context rather than assuming they do or don't. It's actually a good approach I think. Although it does depend on whether the person you're talking to is likely to just say "oh yeah, I know what that is" when they really don't
That's the ticket, IMO. I start off assuming they know, then pause to ask "are you familiar with x concept?"
If they say yes and they really mean no, there's really not a lot I can do. But it seems to make people feel at ease when talking to me - I don't get called out for over explaining or infantalizing people this way.