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This US problem with iMessage always sounds so bizarre to me
I don't see why it's bizarre. Apple worked hard on getting their devices into people's hands and created an ecosystem to keep people buying their devices again in the future.
Besides, it's no different from any other countries dependancy on other messaging applications, like WhatsApp!
WhatsApp is universally available, not locked down by the dominating platform's own proprietor.
True.
But the point is the lock-in is similar from a social perspective, just hardened even further by tying the messaging platform to specific hardware.
"Hey let's use XYZ instead of iMessage" and "hey let's use XYZ instead of WhatsApp" will be met with the same typical resistance to any sort of change. But in the case of iMessage, there's added elitism and othering due to Apple's using iMessage as a lock-in to their hardware.
I think the big difference in the US is that iMessage was leagues ahead of SMS well before there were any good, popular 3rd party mobile messaging apps. iPhones also dominated here, and still do, largely due to that early market dominance.