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Who told you this bit of misinformation? OMEMO e2ee on XMPP is significantly "stronger" than what Matrix does (which is a watered down version).
Snikket mentioned below is probably the easiest to get started with.
Nobody told me this, it was just lack of information on my part. Matrix makes a big deal about end2end encryption but Prosody and Openfire don't seem to put that point out front.
Prosody and Openfire are servers while end-to-end encryption happens on the client side (that's why it's called end-to-end). It would be kind of strange if a server implementation talks about E2EE. The OMEMO protocol only needs server features which are widely implemented. Maybe there is an ancient XMPP server implementation out there that doesn't support it, but you will be fine with Prosody, Snikket, ejabberd or anything else really.