this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is the gist of college student qualms with dating apps. Hook-up culture declines while young people search for genuine connection.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (20 children)

The dating apps are just a symptom of the disease, to be completely honest. The hook-up culture isn't going anywhere, because despite what people say, that's what continues to happen. Anyone longing for a genuine connection are wasting their time on these apps, especially if you're guy. People need to work on the impossible standards, on the constant approval-seeking/instant gratification, and set their priorities straight

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I've found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn't seem to be working for guys, and that's unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That's going to influence men's dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (5 children)

My personal experience with these has been even worse than the average, because my demi ass just doesn't find most of the people on those apps interesting.

After half a year of some activity, I got maybe 2 likes, and 0 matches. Obviously I don't even know who those people are, because the app doesn't show me until I pay. Issue is, if I didn't already swipe on those people, I don't care who they are anymore.

Ironically, when I checked out the BFF section, I got several pings within a few days

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

This is ultimately a big part of it, and it's universal, not just in dating. Most friendships are "friendships of convenience" and the other types of relationships typically progress from there. But in western culture, we don't have any third places, and so we just plain don't make friendships of convenience anymore.

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