Mildly Infuriating
Home to all things "Mildly Infuriating" Not infuriating, not enraging. Mildly Infuriating. All posts should reflect that.
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I'm autistic and so is my wife. We were friends first, then got talking as we both were dealing with shitty divorces. We've been together 13 years and our relationship just get better and better.
Don't try to get dates using apps. They're for a very specific set of attractive, charismatic, extroverted people. Not neurodiverse people. Some might have luck but nobody I know uses them.
Instead, in my subjective opinion, you should be joining social circles that contain the type of people you wish to date. Hobbies, clubs, sports, dog parks, volunteering, etc etc. All of which might be far outside your comfort zone and if so I apologize and I hope you don't feel insulted. Basically you need to level up your social skills to attract prospective partners.
Of course, I met my wife online first, but it was on a forum, not a dating app. But I hope this helps in some way. Good luck!
EDIT: I didn't date from age 17 to age 25 because I shut myself away. Only once I grew up a bit did I start getting interest from prospective partners.
Thanks for the help. Tbh I am probably not going to do any of that. I've been trying to live life for myself more rather than living it to impress some neurotypicals. Last year my girlfriend at the time cheated on me and I had a devastating mental breakdown after which I went to therapy. I eventually realised that I had been basing my entire self worth based on how much people liked me. This was proving detrimental to my mental health to the point where I has having episodes of dysphoria. Not like gender dysphoria but a general dysphoria about myself. We put so much pressure on neurodivirgent to change and adjust we forget just how mentally detrimental that can be. Putting pressure on myself to level up will just fuck with my mental health more. Besides, I am not a shut in. I love going out partying/drinking and I have a group of friends I go out with.
I can’t speak for the other person but it sounds like their advice is to go to places and do things where there are groups that’s related to interests of yours.
This way you encounter people who have similar interests and values as you.
Say, for example, your into disc golf or bowling. Then finding a group that does that in a team setting gives you one on one time with other people who like it. And you’re talking with them about common interests. And, after awhile, you find that it’s easier with one person who, presumably in this hypothetical, is available. So you ask them out on a date or to get coffee. Etc.
The idea isn’t to conform to expectations. It’s to put yourself in situations where natural alignments can happen towards making dates.
Cooking? Then cooking classes. Robotics? Maker spaces.
Reading? Book clubs to discuss novels.
Environmentalism? Volunteer park cleanup.
Just places where you’ll meet people who like the things you like and care about the things you like.
Yeah you got it exactly. I'm not explaining stuff well today. I think I used up all my brain at work.
Came across fine to me but text is hard on a good day