this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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Come gather round the stump young'ns, and I'll tell you a tale of when video games didn't need to be connected to the Internet.
But how did you get your DLC, grandpa? Or the day one patch??
Well, back in 19 and dickaty-2 there was whisperings of a movie tie-in. The money spent, well I won't bore you with that, wouldn't mean much these days. But let's say it was epic - do people still say that? Boy, they used to.
Anyway, they rushed to production and built a million billion cartridges. Do you know what those are? These little black boxes that had the whole video game on these massive chips. Of course they were small in those days.
So they send it to market and it doesn't work. So then nobody bought it. And did you know, they buried all those cartridges way out in the desert some where, and that's where the aurora borealis comes from - the sky used all those chips to paint pretty pictures. And the video game industry began a bloodless vendetta that's still around today, to make up for that blunder by making as much money as possible, even if the game's not worth it.