Mildly Infuriating
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Real talk, forget about a down payment. There are a bunch of different ways to get a 0 down mortgage with varying qualifiers so that chances you qualify for one of them is quite decent.
Even if not, there are still a bunch of other ways to get low down payment mortgages for ~3% down or less.
Toss out the old adage of "20% down or bust" and keep any money saved towards it for savings for all the other costs of home/closing
This is terrible advice. Paying anything you can up front saves you several times over in the long run.
Let's talk 500k house, 6%, 30 years, no pmi, no taxes, no extras...
Paying 100k (20%) up front you'll pay: $863,352.76
Paying 50k (10%) up front you'll pay: $971,271.85
Paying 0 up front you'll pay: $1,079,190.95
Paying 20% down (100k) will save you over 200k.
If you intend to live in the house indefinitely, you're so much better off if you put as much into the down payment as you can.
Edit: List formatting
That's great, in theory. In reality, you'll get stuck in a perpetual savings cycle like OP and in many cases never reach the mythical threshold.
200k savings sounds nice, but if you have to spend 5 years saving and housing prices jump 80, 90, 200% in that time that savings lead gets entirely erased.
You can always play around with your interest rate later on, but you can never change what you paid for the house
Happened once and we are currently dealing with the consequences., tbd