this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor
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My previous work used two mission-critical software for continuous operation.
One was some guy's university project written in Object Pascal and PHP and largely untouched since 2006. I tried offering fixes (I also knew Pascal), but I was rejected every time because the cumulative downtime caused by software issues was not enough to justify the downtime caused by the update (obviously this was determined by a Middle Manager (derogatory)).
The other was (I shit you not) an Excel spreadsheet with 15000 lines and 500 columns. I tried making a copy and cleaning it up, but Excel couldn't handle the amount of data and ran out of memory.
Oh yeah, I remember the good ol' "Our whole business Logic is within this 30 tables spread sheet, that only one person can read, and don't you dare restarting that computer" times.
One person. Sitting in front of three monitors. In front of a spreadsheet that maxed out every resource of that computer. It was glorious.
It sounds glorious!