odigo2020

joined 1 year ago
 

He was addressed for success!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

It's more used for darker/dirtier dad jokes.

 

"It's a tumeric."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I used to like Steven Wright.

I still do, but I used to, too.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Usually, the most effective way is to say, "Wanna hear a knock knock joke?"

"Sure!"

"Okay, you start."

Has about a 90% success rate.

 

I mentioned that I was a writer.

She asked, "Nom de plume?"

I replied, "Once, but the ink tasted terrible."

43
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

That's why I only drink teas that are currant.

 

It's his retire-mint plan.

 

Today, I had an arbitration meeting, and when I walked in with a bag full of Big Beef and Cheddars with Horsey sauce, my client fired me!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Or lobby so their private planes are untrackable.

 

Jam bands!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

To paraphrase Devon Banks: I'm gonna shut it down. Think how much people will need lightbulbs then!

(Also; I sold the E to Samsung. They're Samesung now.)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Jesus, I didn't even think of that being a reality now...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

That's actually pretty good, subversion of expectations with an absurdist kicker.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Probably was Big Screen. And you can indeed throw popcorn, now.